{"id":599,"date":"2017-10-23T00:00:51","date_gmt":"2017-10-23T07:00:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/?p=599"},"modified":"2017-10-23T00:06:51","modified_gmt":"2017-10-23T07:06:51","slug":"only-presenting-an-idealized-version-of-ourselves-separates-us-from-others","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/?p=599","title":{"rendered":"Only presenting an idealized version of ourselves separates us from others."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n

Elk in a pasture a few miles from my home.<\/p>\n

Wanting to be liked we sometimes present our idealized self to others. What a therapist once described to me as selling ourselves. Not surprisingly, that most often creates the opposite result. The following is an excerpt from an article in the Harvard Business Review.<\/p>\n

“In 1997, Arthur Aron, a social psychologist and director of the Interpersonal Relationships Lab at Stony Brook University, performed a groundbreaking study that answers this question.<\/p>\n

He and his research team paired students who were strangers. The students were given 45 minutes to ask each other a series of questions. Half the pairs were given questions that were factual and shallow (e.g., a favorite holiday or TV show). The other half were given questions that started off as factual but gradually became deeper (e.g., the role of love in their lives, the last time they cried in front of someone else). The final question was, \u201cOf all the people in your family, whose death would you find the most disturbing?\u201d<\/p>\n

After the 45 minutes, Aron\u2019s team asked the participants to rate how close they felt to their partner. Pairs from the second group formed much deeper bonds. In fact, many of these participants started lasting friendships. In one longer version of the experiment, two participants even got engaged a few months after the study.”<\/p>\n

\n

Here is a link\u00a0to the article<\/a>.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Elk in a pasture a few miles from my home. Wanting to be liked we sometimes present our idealized self to others. What a therapist once described to me as selling ourselves. Not surprisingly, that most often creates the opposite … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[26,20],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3W5HT-9F","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":772,"url":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/?p=772","url_meta":{"origin":599,"position":0},"title":"\"If only\"","date":"March 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.\" \u2014Louise L. 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The videos below are from my favorite relationship researcher John Gottmann, he has been researching the causes of relationship success and failure for decades.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Relationships"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i1.wp.com\/img.youtube.com\/vi\/LLXX8wzvT7c\/0.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":489,"url":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/?p=489","url_meta":{"origin":599,"position":2},"title":"Jealousy and Envy","date":"January 12, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"There is a woman, Teal Swan, and she has a wealth of knowledge she shares. This video is has a point of view about jealousy and envy that is really interesting. I summarize her view this way: Envy is the emotion we experience when we have an extreme desire for\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Personality and Ego Development"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":637,"url":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/?p=637","url_meta":{"origin":599,"position":3},"title":"Five Questions That Left Me Thinking...","date":"March 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Westport Wa.\u00a0 September 2016 I was reading a blog post recently and one third of the way through the post I encountered the following: \"One way to begin discovering what kind of unconscious ideals we\u2019ve been constructing in our own lives is to ask ourselves introspective questions like the following:\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Musings"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/03\/DSC8988_watercolor_1000w.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":493,"url":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/?p=493","url_meta":{"origin":599,"position":4},"title":"Imposter","date":"January 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Have you ever felt like an imposter? 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As a college student, he was part of a study in which theology students were\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Mystical"","img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/01\/DSC01580.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=599"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":605,"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/599\/revisions\/605"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=599"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=599"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/olympichypnotherapy.com\/communications\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=599"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}