April 26th 2013
Today April 26th 2013 would have been my mom’s 93rd birthday. She passed last Saturday as I was returning home from being with her for almost two weeks. This now moves me into the group of “Orphaned Adults”, adults without parents. I feel a certain weightless feeling that is difficult to describe. As is in keeping with my life, there are so many facets associated with her loss. She was who she was and her personality was consistent in many ways throughout her life. On the plane home from my visit I wrote this on the back of my ticket.
As I am flying home I am so torn. Should I have stayed? Be there for my mom and sisters or go home to complete my responsibilities and appointments. I know I chose my parents, my mother and father, as they and the environment in which they resided would offer me the greatest opportunities for soul growth. As with my father in the past, my mother now lies dying. In the late night I would speak with her offering her thoughts and concepts of a cosmos composed of love and designed to help each soul with opportunities to help her return to a state of oneness and also uniqueness through many dimensional states of which earth is but one. I know I helped her to make this transition.
She had a life filled with her experiences, her friends, her views, loves and desires. I don’t know if my mother was ever proud of me, if I lived up to her expectations, but I know she loved me. I always felt that inexorable love. My father grew to really understand me and tell me how proud he was of me. All my mother could do was love me despite my failings and I can say now with deep gratitude — that was good enough. Now they are both gone and I remain, remain as a product of their genes, the environment they provided, my soul, and their commitment to doing their best to help me be the best I can be. Thank you Roy and Joyce, mom and dad.