Amazing

It is amazing to me how the universe works sometimes. I attended a retreat seminar last weekend hosted by the local chapter of the ARE. The key presenter was Dr. C Norman Shealy. He’s a wonderfully intelligent MD and PHD with numerous patented inventions in healthcare. So, I was shocked when opened his presentation saying that the number one thing he believes anyone should do when confronting a health issue is to get a past life regression. Up until that moment I wasn’t sure this retreat was for me, and then I was enthralled.

I try not to stand out as too woo woo because I desire to help as many people as possible in my practice. Someone who comes to me with congestive heart failure and a mainstream religion needs the immediate help I can provide and I don’t need to lessen that help by talking about things they would find uncomfortable.

Now this has me thinking about how I can add this as a possibility for more clients.

One of the very next things he said also rocked my boat. He suggested that Autogenics (self-hypnosis) would cure 80% of all problems people have, but that alas, most people lack the self discipline or motivation to set aside 10 – 20 minutes twice a day to engage this.

He also said that all our troubles are the result of fear. I’ve known this for awhile but, this was so validating.

I’m now on track to implement these ideas into my practice asap.

Here’s one more wonderful synchronicity, Norman and my long time friend Dr Elmer Cranton go way back in time when they started the American Holidtic Health Association. Life some days is amazing.

The primary key to health, longevity and happiness.

The mystics, the enlightened ones all say we are one. Quantum physics says everything exists in a sea of energy modulated into near infinite dimensions. The forms within those dimensions  are created by consciousness. Now I am going to make a leap and say that the more connected we are to other consciousness resonating with high ideals and values the happier and calmer we become. When Jesus said I bring you a new commandment, love one another, this ideal was meant to supplant the effects of living according to laws of what not to do. And, we know whatever we are thinking about preceded with a not or don’t (e.g., don’t think about green elephants with pink monkeys dancing on them) will be seen in the mind symbolically, as thoughts and words exist symbolically.

Robert Waldinger is reporting on a study run for decades and the results say that good connections with others is the primary indicator for health and happiness. Reviewing this study has made me even more grateful for the people in my life that share the love I have to offer and reflect that back to me. I know you will like this video. It may change your life significantly for the better as you apply this knowledge.

 

A long healthy life

DSC06997_v2This is a concluding paragraph to a Ted Talk by Robert Waldinger

So this message, that good, close relationships are good for our health and well-being, this is wisdom that’s as old as the hills. Why is this so hard to get and so easy to ignore? Well, we’re human. What we’d really like is a quick fix, something we can get that’ll make our lives good and keep them that way. Relationships are messy and they’re complicated and the hard work of tending to family and friends, it’s not sexy or glamorous. It’s also lifelong. It never ends. The people in our 75-year study who were the happiest in retirement were the people who had actively worked to replace workmates with new playmates. Just like the millennials in that recent survey, many of our men when they were starting out as young adults really believed that fame and wealth and high achievement were what they needed to go after to have a good life. But over and over, over these 75 years, our study has shown that the people who fared the best were the people who leaned in to relationships, with family, with friends, with community.

Here is the link to the talk The Link >

123 Years Old

DSC00743v2Every life has its share of experiences, ever changing, ever emotional. For a while my mind has remembered a story I read about a woman in France who lived to be one hundred and twenty three years old. Now of course, people would ask her for her secret to this long and healthy life. And before telling you the secret, I must add, she smoked, she smoked for about one hundred and ten years.

Her secret was simple, and I paraphrase, if she could not do anything about something that is happening somewhere, she would not stress about it, she would stay calm. I believe her calm allowed her body to be in harmony, to flourish, for a body to flourish, there must be peace.

 

The Five Top Regrets of the Dying

DSC01335_650wBronnie Ware wrote a book based on her experiences as a nurse caring for the dying. She wrote a book called The Five Top Regrets of the Dying.

Here is her list and commentary:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look 30clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

Transitions

April 26th 2013roy_joyce_on_steps

Today April 26th 2013 would have been my mom’s 93rd birthday. She passed last Saturday as I was returning home from being with her for almost two weeks. This now moves me into the group of “Orphaned Adults”, adults without parents. I feel a certain weightless feeling that is difficult to describe. As is in keeping with my life, there are so many facets associated with her loss. She was who she was and her personality was consistent in many ways throughout her life. On the plane home from my visit I wrote this on the back of my ticket.

As I am flying home I am so torn. Should I have stayed? Be there for my mom and sisters or go home to complete my responsibilities and appointments. I know I chose my parents, my mother and father, as they and the environment in which they resided would offer me the greatest opportunities for soul growth. As with my father in the past, my mother now lies dying. In the late night I would speak with her offering her thoughts and concepts of a cosmos composed of love and designed to help each soul with opportunities to help her return to a state of oneness and also uniqueness through many dimensional states of which earth is but one. I know I helped her to make this transition.

She had a life filled with her experiences, her friends, her views, loves and desires. I don’t know if my mother was ever proud of me, if I lived up to her expectations, but I know she loved me. I always felt that inexorable love. My father grew to really understand me and tell me how proud he was of me. All my mother could do was love me despite my failings and I can say now with deep gratitude — that was good enough. Now they are both gone and I remain, remain as a product of their genes, the environment they provided, my soul, and their commitment to doing their best to help me be the best I can be. Thank you Roy and Joyce, mom and dad.

Musing about my Mom and life

March 2013

I am sometimes stumped and there is no remedy for my feelings but patience, hope, and some kind of faith.

You see, my mother is now 93 and she is preparing to leave. She had a lifetime of experiences that were unique to her. Did she discover that which she desired to find? Did she have the adventure she sought? Learn what she wanted to learn?rick_and_roy_sepia_225w

And her passing makes me think about these questions and pause to ask myself these very questions.

As a hypnotherapist I am allowed into peoples memories and it is a sacred space.

These memories, seen in these pictures of my parents, and my parents with me, delight me and soon they will be united to reminisce.

rick_graduation_225w roy_joyceThe pictures on the left tell stories for sure. Few pictures of my dad and mom exist as dad was the camera man.

I am leaving for Minnesota the second week of April. and will be there for 11 days. I am hoping to be of help to my mom while I am there

Circling the Sun

Written May 2012

Birthday Presence  (pres·ence / prezəns Noun: The state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place a thought or thing on your birthday.)

It is so interesting contemplating my birthday this year in terms of trips around the sun. I have now been around the sun 62 times. That is 22,630 times around on the earth. It seems like a carnaval ride. There are times when the ride seems very serious and times when it is very light hearted.  So much happens in a trip around the sun.  In the material world everything is part of a cycle.

piano_bird

BEING

There are so many wonderful things about life. At this age I like to think about new experiences and learnings, and mostly, I enjoy thinking about states of being. What state of being can I aspire to, and what state of being can I attain?

For the last year I have focused much of my attention on the question of my purpose for being.  Why am I here?  What am I to be?  The glimpses thus far are very simple, being kind is the one I am contemplating now. It is interesting that many say finding your purpose is really the easy part. Living your purpose presents the greater challenges.birds_300w

As Maslow says “One is in harmony when that which one absolutely must do becomes identical to that which one most desires to do”.  Wouldn’t this world be delightful if we all were in this state of mind?  I find listening to people’s issues a timeless experience. I feel honored to hear their stories and to offer aid.

SHARING

I do not easily share myself.  I grew up in Minnesota. My parents trained to be parents by watching their parents.  We all have a family of origin with unique characteristics. So, grow up where I grew up and and you don’t  “brag” about yourself.  At minimum you must fake humility by not talking about yourself.

My life journey has had five perpetual activities; entrepreneurship, music (especially composing), photography, tai chi, and metaphysics.  Each have waxed and waned at times, but have always been central to me.   My traveling partner is my wife. We have been 16 times around the sun together.fireworks_378w

I split my time between many activities. Most of my days are about hypnotherapy, website design,and property maintainence. I have been a founding partner in a Graphic and Web design company for 14 years. All the programming is mentally engaging and there is always something new to learn.  We have rental houses where we live and they need the maintainence. I like having different tasks that use my right and left brain separately and in concert during different activities.

We have many acres of land and buildings that require maintenance. Sometimes when mowing the lawn I am very peaceful.

I play and write music as often as I can. I find it brings me into a wonderful trance like state of harmony and joy. Finally, another overriding aspect of my life is metaphysics. Metaphysics is a search for truth and understanding about the universe that is beyond current scientific verification. When I was 10 years old I believed I might be dying. This concern lasted for a couple of years. It made me very aware and interested in understanding the universe.

Expectations and Time of Death

If family members tend to die in their fifties, does that indicate a genetic component? Maybe. It is also possible, that the previous generations of family members, those who tended to die in their fifties, might have come to that as a matter of expectations learned from their ancestors.

A friend of mine was talking about his family history in this manner today. Hearing him say that, reminded me of the chicken and egg conundrum. Which came first. I have often contemplated how much of our aging process is simply because our mind “knows” we are supposed to age and does so.

joyce3_300w
My mom at 30.

Here is an interesting finding from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 2002:

“Recent study findings by researchers at Yale University in Connecticut suggest that looking forward to growing old could actually help you to live longer. Results of the 23-year-long study of people aged 50 and over revealed that those who had a positive attitude towards aging lived roughly seven and a half years longer than participants who were dreading reaching their twilight years. The apparent life-extending benefits of a positive attitude remained even after the researchers accounted for other factors that can influence longevity, such as health, gender, and socio-economic status. In comparison, other healthy attributes such as maintaining low blood pressure and cholesterol are thought to extend life by just 4 years.”

In a book I was reading the other night I read about the prisoners of war during the Korean War. About half of the Americans in captivity died from feeling hopeless. They were not ill but rather what we might call deeply depressed or in despair. None of the Turkish captives died. This indicated a difference in outlook that gave the Turkish soldiers a better chance of surviving captivity.