Shame: The Swampland of the Soul

I was brought up in a environment based on shame. My mom, bless her, had a capacity to make you feel like you were innately bad.   As Brene explains: “Shame drives two big tapes — “never good enough” — and, if you can talk it out of that one, “who do you think you are?” The thing to understand about shame is, it’s not guilt. Shame is a focus on self, guilt is a focus on behavior. Shame is “I am bad.” Guilt is “I did something bad.”…. Guilt: I’m sorry. I made a mistake. Shame: I’m sorry. I am a mistake.”

This is a very entertaining talk that deals with a common topic influencing many of us, lessening our self-esteem.  For women, shame is, do it all, do it perfectly and never let them see you sweat.

Research by Mahalik at Boston College. He asked, what do women need to do to conform to female norms? The top answers in this country: nice, thin, modest and use all available resources for appearance. When he asked about men, what do men in this country need to do to conform with male norms, the answers were: always show emotional control, work is first, pursue status and violence.

I think you will really like this video.

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