100%

I recently watched a video and it was very timely. Sometimes we know something but it is compartmentalized. For example, when I work with people with addictions, I emphasize the importance of choosing to commit completely to stopping. One hundred percent commitment is what is essential to success.

So, wouldn’t one hundred percent commitment be important for success in all things? Of course. Here is a link to a Ted Talk that I really like.

Childhood + Affection = Happier Adults

Are parents important in creating the state of mind of those children as adults? Absolutely!

“According to Child Trends – the leading nonprofit research organization in the United States focused on improving the lives and prospects of children, youth, and their families – science supports the idea that warmth and affection expressed by parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes for those children.”

That is me in front of my snow fort. My childhood in Minnesota!

Here is a link to the article from the Gottman Institute

Uncertainty

 

 

 JOY

Lost, confused, anxious, and filled with uncertainty, a common complaint or malady of these times and of simply being a human being. It would be rare to find a singular human being of moderate age who has not dealt with these feelings. It seems to be a part of life. The causes are many and the feelings are real. Feelings And everything is about uncertainty. What do you really know of the future. My dear friend’s son’s wife is recovering from a double mastectomy, a brother in law is in chemotheray for pancreatic cancer, my best friend for 22 years and a high school friend are both struggling with Rheumatoid arthritis. Many clients have serious health issues. Being ill increases stress and the irony is that most diseases are caused by stress, is stress like a virus settling into our psyche that then creates physical symptoms which birth greater stress? Now there’s a novel thought!

Here are some ideas you might find helpful. Imagine how someone else would handle the same situation. If you had a big moral question and you are a Christian you might ask how Jesus would handle it. In other words, if something in the future does happen (a negative event) how do yo deal with it, cope with it? How would somebody with the requisite skills cope with it? When you figure that out you just practice it.

Everything is uncertain, you don’t know for sure that you wake up tomorrow, the future is uncertain. I found a quote from my favorite mystic today and in reading it I recognized what is keeping me coping, I am helping others.      “…how happy those should be that have been called to a purposefulness in relieving suffering… in giving hope to those who find life’s pathway in the material world beset with shadows and doubts.”

You don’t have to be a therapist to help others but only be there or help in some way you can best.

I read about this “exercise”, the exercise is to write one sentence each night, a sentence about the most important thought or event in that day. Sometimes the sentence reflects something learned. I only started recently, join me in this experiment if you wish. We can share our experiences.

Anxiety Manifestation

 

Recently anxiety has overtaken depression in the realms of most popular psychological malady. As a human being I too at times become anxious. As a therapist many people come to see me due to anxiety. Because we are mind in a body, discovering the thoughts that create the anxiety and lessening or eliminating those thoughts is the path to calm.

“Many of us don’t realize that every thought, word and action we say and do in life is transmitted via the etheric and nervous system to every organ, cell and molecule of the body. In less than a second your energy system starts working towards your choices and actions. If these are not congruent with your beliefs, goals and values, the result will be a physical or chemical imbalance in the body.”

“We are all motivated at a subconscious level to stay on the path of our purpose. When we deviate or refrain from this path, for whatever reason, our inner being starts working against us, alerting us to look inside ourselves and at what we are avoiding, denying, or resisting. If we refuse to listen, we become anxious, stressed and plagued with fear and confusion. When we deny what we feel, we feel trapped and become ungrounded. Life feels chaotic.”

Here’s a simple thing to do: when you notice your mind saying something unkind about you, a word like “you idiot” (one of my past favorites when I fail at something) note that word and banish it. Forbid you to call you an idiot. In time you will stop doing that to yourself. Do this with three words and you will be happier.

Change is Normal

Change is normal, necessary, and unavoidable. I’m changing my spiritual ideal to love. I’ve been influenced to do so by a very loving man I met at my retreat this week. In the presence of kindness and love we may realize Its never too late to improve. I really hope to someday be the best I can be and little by little change comes.

So Simple

So many of us want to be better and better. I have for a long time desired to be an “enlightened” person. I’m not sure exactly what that means since knowing something has to come from experiencing it fully. I’ve suspected that being enlightened is a state of mind that includes being loving, kind, compassionate, caring, giving, receiving, joy, peace, helping, serving and so much more along these lines. Of the many positive words in the English language love seems to be the most powerful. So, what feedback or metric lets you know you are on that path? That you are loving? How do we know?

Well, I’m reading a book a friend suggested and in that book I found the simplest of means to discern whether we are in a loving state or not. Here it is! Is your energy towards others positive? Is your energy toward yourself positive? If it is you are expressing love. Oh I know this maybe too simple. But it only relies on taking note of your feelings. A great mystic once said that our emotions are our soul in action, our essence, and perhaps that is so. If it is so, then it is really easy to gauge whether we are expressing love in the moment. Are you feeling a positive energy toward yourself and others?

Blessings,

Rick
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Imposter

Have you ever felt like an imposter? Most people do at times in their lives. I know I have experienced being trusted to do something that I have learned either in school or on my own and thinking, “who am I to be doing this?”  Well, eventually we accept that we really do know how to do the things we do. But what about the new things? What about our work?

“What holds us back from being more confident at work is often a sense that we are fundamentally different from those who succeed.

Too often we leave the possibility of success to others, as we believe our own negative self talk and see our own flaws so clearly.  This gives way to the “imposter” syndrome, where we incorrectly believe others to be perfect and ourselves to be lacking.

We know ourselves from the inside, but we know others from the outside, from a narrower and more edited source of information. We suffer – needlessly – from this negative belief we are an imposter, and a fraud.”

This is a self esteem issue and this video below is a clever and succinct explanation with added good advice.

Here is the link to the web page where I discovered this. You might like this website.