The Five Top Regrets of the Dying

DSC01335_650wBronnie Ware wrote a book based on her experiences as a nurse caring for the dying. She wrote a book called The Five Top Regrets of the Dying.

Here is her list and commentary:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look 30clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”

2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.

“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

“This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”

A Talk at Saint Martins

Today I spoke at a Psychology Class at Saint Martins College in Lacey Washington. The Professor, Thomas Woodruff prompted me to discuss regression therapies which can extend beyond this life and into past lives. I wouldn’t say the students were shocked, it was more like encountering a foreign philosophy. They were a delightful group composed mostly of Junior and Senior female students.

Garrison Keillor


I recently have been blessed to meet two exceptional men. Garrison Keillor (left) who could be the reincarnation of Mark Twain. He spins a tale, with wit, passion, sincerity, and joy. He is a pretty good singer too. He performed a one man show at the Washington Center for the Performing Arts and it was certainly one of the best I can remember. We are both from Minnesota and certainly share a group consciousness.

Charles Thomas Cayce


March 2014

I also was so fortunate to reconnect with Charles Thomas Cayce at a retreat recently. This is a truly delightful soul. He is the kind of person that encourages and influences everyone to be great. His grandfather was Edgar Cayce one of my most admired and respected people who have lived.

At the retreat Charles Thomas shared his research on a group of people who were told they would have the choice of not reincarnating after their current life. He researched the common life traits they shared with each other, and shared his research with us.

My time with Master TT Liang


A biography of Master T. T. Liang

“On the twenty-third day of the first moon in the year 1900, Liang Tung Tsai was born in Ningpo, Hopei Province, which is a small town on the shores of the Yellow Sea in eastern China. Master Liang lived to the venerable age of 102, passing away on August 17, 2002.

His father was a merchant, selling primarily sundries, and according to Liang was an extremely hard worker and devoted father. His mother was a devout lay Buddhist, who spent all her free time lecturing on Buddhism to children and helping monks acquire funds to build temples. Liang was born Jui Fu, and stylized his name when reaching adulthood as Tung Tsai. He had an older sister (deceased) and a younger brother, Jen Tieh, who is still living in California. Liang spent four years studying at Nankai University in Tienjin, where he received an M.A. in economics and then entered the British Maritime Customs Service at the age of 24. His rank increased quickly, and by the time he was 35 he held the highest position of any Chinese officer. Only one British officer was higher in rank than him. During his initial years with customs he spent a great deal of time in Amoy, which he remembers as being ideal in comparison to Shanghai, where he was sent after his promotion to the rank of Chief Tide Surveyor.

Liang served in many of the major cities along the eastern seaboard of China. When he was promoted to the rank of Chief Tide Surveyor he was in charge of all British controlled ports within their concession along China’s eastern seacoast, an enormous duty.

To continue reading this biography click here>

tt2The story of my finding my way to the home of TT Liang in Saint Cloud Minnesota is on that is one that is inevitable once the company I worked for in Minneapolis decided to have me be the first representative in Saint Cloud. I was around 32 years of age at this time. When I was in my twenties in Cincinnati I studied Tai Chi at the Unitarian Church on Saturday mornings. The instructor was a very nice man in his forties, a Psychologist. I was a regular and enjoyed the group, the people in the group and Tai Chi.

After returning to Minneapolis I briefly studied with a man who lived in Saint Paul. I did not feel he was the teacher for me and I did not continue with him. When I arrived in Saint Cloud I quickly found a local health food store, a place to find nourishing food. On a bulletin board was a sheet of paper offering Tai Chi from TT. I took the number and soon called and soon found myself his student. My regular trips to Saint Cloud had a silver lining. TT was the real thing, a Chinese man who had taught and studied for five decades. A vital man with power, humor, and a zest for life in his mid 80’s.

It was because his daughter was a graduate student at the University of Minnesota Saint Cloud that TT and his wife had moved there, to be close to his daughter and her family.

How wonderful for me, for it was natural for me to be around him. This short, pudgy old man was the most powerful man I had ever met. His skill in all aspects of Tai Chi manifested as kindness, patience, humor, friendliness, and non-violence. He had come to this expression through many difficult life experiences which included torture at the hands of oppressors. He had held positions of responsibility and power when younger working for the British in mainland China.

There was a time when I took a weeks vacation and stayed in his basement bedroom for a week studying with him everyday. Tai Chi had saved his life, extended his life, and brought vibrancy into his body.

He loved to study the “Classics”, teach and paint.

Forty Day Manifestation Prayer


Recently I read an article that was about The Magical Forty Day Manifestation Prayer

The idea underlying the 40-Day Manifestation Prayer is that of thankfulness. With the 40-Day Manifestation Prayer, you are not just generally thankful for whatever comes into your life. In this prayer, you specifically pray about something you really want. Similar to the Law of Attraction, you phrase your prayer in positive terms as if you already have whatever it is you want. You do not say, “Take this awful thing away from me,” or, “Give me this wonderful thing I want.” Both of those thought patterns assume you do not have what you want. They will continue the lack in your life.

Instead, you pray with thanks as if you already have what you want. The 40-Day Manifestation Prayer focuses that thankfulness.

It also emphasizes your relationship with the Infinite by asking for what you want in the name of what you consider to be your Higher Power. It is important to say the prayer once daily for 40 straight days. If you forget or miss a day, you must start again, counting from 1. ( I wrote my prayer out each night saying it out loud. Now it is normal to remember this Prayer at bed time or upon awakening.)

In the name of   ______________________   thank you that I am  ____________________

In the name of love, thank you that I am healthy.


67,000 miles per hour


The earth is spinning at 1,070 miles per hour. The earth is traveling through space around the sun at 67,000 miles per hour. In one year we travel 25,000,000 miles to go one time around the earth. It is quite amazing and so easy to forget about.

Every thing seems so solid on this planet. Even our thoughts and beliefs seem that way. If a person were to “forget” all of the thoughts that inhibit or cause pain in mind or body, then what would the next day bring?

Imagine a day when all your thoughts were pleasant.


April 26th 2013roy_joyce_on_steps

Today April 26th 2013 would have been my mom’s 93rd birthday. She passed last Saturday as I was returning home from being with her for almost two weeks. This now moves me into the group of “Orphaned Adults”, adults without parents. I feel a certain weightless feeling that is difficult to describe. As is in keeping with my life, there are so many facets associated with her loss. She was who she was and her personality was consistent in many ways throughout her life. On the plane home from my visit I wrote this on the back of my ticket.

As I am flying home I am so torn. Should I have stayed? Be there for my mom and sisters or go home to complete my responsibilities and appointments. I know I chose my parents, my mother and father, as they and the environment in which they resided would offer me the greatest opportunities for soul growth. As with my father in the past, my mother now lies dying. In the late night I would speak with her offering her thoughts and concepts of a cosmos composed of love and designed to help each soul with opportunities to help her return to a state of oneness and also uniqueness through many dimensional states of which earth is but one. I know I helped her to make this transition.

She had a life filled with her experiences, her friends, her views, loves and desires. I don’t know if my mother was ever proud of me, if I lived up to her expectations, but I know she loved me. I always felt that inexorable love. My father grew to really understand me and tell me how proud he was of me. All my mother could do was love me despite my failings and I can say now with deep gratitude — that was good enough. Now they are both gone and I remain, remain as a product of their genes, the environment they provided, my soul, and their commitment to doing their best to help me be the best I can be. Thank you Roy and Joyce, mom and dad.

Giving and Receiving

rocks_280wThere is a continuum, a yin and a yang, if you will. And in this continuum we call a universe is the curiosity of our consciousness, our self-awareness, our relationship to all we encounter. And in this relationship we ascribe meaning to everything. We humans appear to be the only beings on this planet that have this capacity.

In that capacity to choose we confirm our free will. We live in continual exercising of free will as we go moment to moment. Moment to moment we effect the creation of ours and others futures from our thoughts, words and actions. Thoughts words and actions create in our bodies emotional responses Those emotional responses within us vary depending on the nature of the thoughts, words, and deeds. We ebb and flow like the seasons.

We search for happiness in many different ways. Happiness is elusive for most. We have wonderful glimpses at varying times in our lives and then it dissipates. Holding on to happiness may seem like holding a gallon of water pouring into our hands. It drains away disappearing into a thirsty earth.

It is not a new theory that giving, helping, being of service is the most certain way to find happiness. It also helps with getting along in this world. A recent New York Times article on an Author and Professor Adam Grant, adds to the happiness factor, the getting ahead factor of giving or “instant karma”. This is an eleven page article

Maybe there is an answer. Enjoy!